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I feel totally out of touch because I haven’t been posting regularly lately. I am still HERE and my journey has been in a learning phase these past few weeks.

Being in this setting where routine is simple has allowed me to rest and recharge. I have been afforded the opportunity to reflect upon the past year and see the dramatic changes.

Today I find myself thinking about how my change of perspective occurred. I didn’t simply wake up one day and make an intellectual decision to turn my life around. Well ok it’s not like I had lost everything yet, but when you go from persuing material things and status oriented titles, to being focused upon helping others and persuing servitude it’s a massive 180!

So yes there was a decision which was made but it was the actions which actually achieved the change. There was no major mystery, I was and am still inclined to be materialistic and driven by self will. I have a weakness for name brands. When I picture myself in a new vehicle it’s a luxury style vehicle with lots of bling!

The difference now is that it’s not my primary focus, frankly I rarely find my thoughts on those paths.

What has hit me is that which we spend time longing for are shapable through practice. I heard a speaker use the analogy of a boy being dressed in hockey equipment. When he is young he cannot do it alone, an adult helps and over time he learns to dress himself. Any adult male who was raises playing hockey knows the names of the pieces and how they are worn. After years of practice the boy can put on all the equipment while chatting with friends, without thought. Through practice it has become second nature.

This is how my perspective has changed, with practice. When I fall back into my old habitual ways, I quickly acknowledge it and replace the thoughts with ones which support the life I am seeking to lead.

This isn’t a simple practice, I am not at the stage of it feeling entirely natural but the efforts are already bearing fruit.

I believe that my longings are shapable through concrete rhythms and practices aimed at what I belies is the “good life.”

In the past when I felt empty and worthless, it was impossible for me to find fulfillment from the achievement of my desires. My desires were superficial and so were the results. Jesus was my answer, he came not as the answer to an intellectual question but as the lover of my soul.

Bizarre isn’t it? I had sought for so long something which seemed utterly elusive and I found it had always been available to me.

It is only by redirecting the direction of my longing that I have found my own value and purpose. Quite simply it is my love which defines me, my loves are habits. By changing my social practices, activities and thoughts my love has been channeled to a different end. Towards an end which continues to afford me serenity.

Paul tells us about this in Colossians 3:12-17

Each day I will continue to clothe myself in the character traits/virtues/good habits I can until I achieve the natural internal disposition to do the right thing!

When the words “road trip” are said to parents of children under ten there is a segment of the population who cringe. Visions of irritable children, squeals of “are we there yet?”, “I have to pee” dance in our heads and immediately we’re glad we aren’t stuck in that vehicle.
And yet at some point we all do it. We know in advance the pain we will have to endure but the end destination is thought to be worth it.
With this knowledge Hubby and I set out for a journey north of our home to Muskoka, Ontario.
My sister and her husband kindly offered us the use of her trailer this weekend at our favorite place in the world, Muskoka Bible Centre. I have written about this amazing slice of the earth before, here with Sand, Love and God at MBC.
I actually acknowledged the road trip challenges within that article, this time my friends Hubby and I were prepared! We were bringing my niece with us…..yup we recruited the big guns to occupy the girls.
Armed with pillows, snacks and DS’s there they were piled in the back seat with promises of good behavior.
We knew we would have to stop often so we planned those location approximately each 40 minutes of the 2.5 hour drive.
Of course it happened, 10 minutes after the first stop the whining began….”how long until the next bathroom….I have to pee.”
Immediately the hairs stood up on the back of my neck with irritation, “who said that?” I bit out.
I’d like to point out that there is one child who doesn’t have her hand raised, if you guessed it’s my niece you win the prize.
So here we are driving for what seemed an eternity to the next pit stop, listening to my eldest go on and on about having to pee and what do our eyes spy in the lane ahead of us?
You’re not going to believe this….we were killing ourselves laughing.
The sign on the back was clearly visible and Syd was almost crying asking to go use their bathroom
Next we passed a big touring bus which Hubby kindly pointed out had a washroom on board.
Thanks buddy.
We arrived at our 2nd destination, Webers! This is a quaint burger joint which serves as a half-way point for so many Ontarians heading up to cottage country. Webers has been in business since 1963 and has train cars to eat in, lots of space for the kids to run oh and bathrooms of course!

The rest of the drive was relatively peaceful, there wasn’t much arguing and time seemed to flow quickly.
We finally arrived and something happened immediately…..relaxation. Can you see it in our faces?

All of that nail-biting, irritating, whining, anxiety ridden time in the car was worth it!
 Here my friends is the view we are graced with, I feel touched directly by God each time I see it.
What a gift he gave us in this Earth!!
If you are anywhere near Muskoka Bible Center or if you’re planning a family road trip, today my advice is go for it! Yesterday during the drive at times I would have said never again, but now that we’re here it was all worth it.
Having this as my view for most of the day certainly helped.
Proverbs 3:5
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And he shall direct your paths.”
What’s your line in the sand?
So I’ve decided upon a life without alcohol.
Okay, done…well let’s say an ongoing work in progress with no end.
What’s my line in the sand on this one?
I was at an Irish pub recently for dinner with a FUN group of folks!!
I had ordered myself a diet pop and was perusing the menu when it struck me….cue in light bulb moment Irish music and Leprechauns dancing…3/4 of the menu items had the words Guinness in the title.
So I was in a bit of a pickle, somehow in my wearing blinders way I hadn’t even considered this situation.
I mean why would I?
Just because I was sitting in an Irish pub, surrounded by banners, coasters and uniforms all screaming Guinness….who could have known this would happen?
Throw me a bone here folks.
Everything I wanted to order had alcohol in it.

Eventually hubby found me a curry dish without alcohol which was quite good but I was still pissed off that I couldn’t have the Yorkshire pudding and roast beef I wanted.
Afterwards hubby and I were chatting about the situation and he asked me why I didn’t want to eat the other items.
Disclaimer: hubby was so supportive at the restaurant and just wanted to know because he thought alcohol burned off during the cooking process.
At this time I just didn’t want to ingest alcohol because I was afraid it would allow me to grey my line in the sand. If I knowingly ingested alcohol it may allow me to take it a step further in the future and that could end up back to the bottom of a bottle.
My history of doing this speaks loudly to me.
I’m curious how others feel about this, people in recovery who have chosen a life without alcohol, would you eat food cooked with it?
I knew I was in over my head when I began trying to learn to edit HTML….duhhh.
So I’ll be tweaking my blog here and there as the mood arises, my bloglist is missing for the moment, please fogive me 😉
Any critiques are welcome, right now I think my Header pic is too large so I’ll play with that first when I’m in the right frame of mind.
I certainly wish I could retain information, that would make this much smoother.

I haven’t been posting quite as much lately because I’m down under a terrible migraine for the last 5 days. It’s beating me but I’m not defeated entirely.

I am beginning to pray for healing. Up until now I thought this was selfish but I am realizing it’s not. There are so many people in my life affected by my constant pain and inabilities that I’m going to be praying for a miracle of healing. God is GREAT and CAN perform miracles.

I loved today’s reading and am sharing it.

It explains exactly why I wasn’t comfortable standing taking praise at my Birthday celebration. ALL things through God are possible. I CAN heal through HIM and His grace.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

You are reading from the book Twenty Four Hours a Day Hardcover (24 Hours)
A.A. Thought for the Day

In A.A. we must surrender, give up, admit that we’re helpless. We surrender our lives to God and ask Him for help. When He knows that we’re ready, He gives us by His grace the free gift of sobriety. And we can’t take any credit for having stopped drinking, because we didn’t do it by our own willpower. There’s no place for pride or boasting. We can only be grateful to God for doing for us what we could never do for ourselves. Do I believe that God has made me a free gift of the strength to stay sober?

Meditation for the Day

I must work for God, with God, and through God’s help. By helping to bring about a true fellowship of human beings, I am working for God. I am also working with God because this is the way God works, and He is with me when I am doing such work. I cannot do good work, however, without God’s help. In the final analysis, it is through the grace of God that any real change in human personality takes place. I have to rely on God’s power, and anything I accomplish is through His help.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may work for God and with God. I pray that I may be used to change human personalities through God’s help.

From Twenty-Four Hours a Day © 1975 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.

So I was downstairs in the family room with my 7 year old, she was swinging in circles around the support beam. She was being silly, laughing, falling over and over as she was spinning. It was obvious she was trying to perfect something??

ME: Syd, what are you doing?

Syd: I’m trying to pole dance Mummy, can you teach me how?

ME (ummmm pause….how the heck do you know the word pole dance??) What is pole dancing?

Syd: Dancing around a pole, you know that Mama

ME (carefully): What makes you think I know that? Who were you talking about pole dancing with?

Syd: Daddy, he said you’re the BEST pole dancer ever (with a totally serious face), come on Mama teach me how

ME: (imagining all the repercussions of this….teachers/friends…ughhh) Syd I don’t know how to dance around a pole but there is a Mayberry pole where there are ribbons tied at the top of a pole, the children each hold a ribbon and skip in a circle around the pole wrapping it up……

I love that hubby thinks I’m a GREAT pole dancer…..but REALLY? She is 7.

Hubby’s sense of humor kills me